Hello Stranger On the Street, Could You Please Tell Me How to Take Care of My Baby?
By Wendy Molyneux
It blatantly calls out every single person that has ever offered unsolicited advice to a poor, frazzled mom. Clearly, we're all falling apart and need someone to hold our hands as we delve into parenthood. Obviously, the less experience you have with kids, the better your advice too, right? Yes, afterschool babysitter with no children of your own, please tell me how to sleep train, feed, and bathe my child! Um, no thanks. Ever notice how unsolicited advice is never wanted, or even good?
So, I thought it would be fun to take up a collection of some of the worst advice/experiences we've had with those Nosy McNosersons. Here's mine:
When T was 9 months-ish, we had taken her to one of those "family" restaurants for lunch. I'm not sure why they are called family restaurants since they clearly weren't ready for us. They were setting our table as we sat down and the waitress put a complete set of silverware directly in front of T, including a steak knife! Luckily, I got to it before T did, but that was the first audible gasp I heard from the nearby table. With such grabby little hands, I quickly got to work clearing the three foot space in front of her and placed toddler approved items items within her reach. When our hot soups arrived, the waitress ignored this clearly delineated "baby zone" and once again I dove to remove the hot bowl from T's reach, again followed by a "Gasp!". Finally, before lunch really began, I took out one of those disposable plastic placemats to coverup the table in front of T. I think we used these to protect T from germs as much as protecting the restaurants from her destruction! The rest of our lunch was pretty uneventful. But, when B excused himself to the restroom before leaving, our darling, Grandma Gasper decided to make herself known. She left her table to come up to me and said the following, "Thank goodness you put that placemat down. I was about to come up and ask you to do that when you finally did." Really? You really felt compelled to inform me of this? Sigh. People should really know better not to approach a sleep deprived momma-bear and poke her with a stick.
Ok, my fellow mommas, what's your story? What piece of advice or comment drove you bat-crazy?
Don't pick up the baby too much, you'll spoil her!
Give your 3 month old teething baby frozen waffles! (I actually got that one today!)
Let's hear it!
2 comments:
OH LET ME PLAY!!
Okay, mine isn't about babies as much as it is about feeding babies. When Briar was first born, I was massively OVER producing. That info will come in handy later. Anywho, I have a neighbor who has an 8 month old baby. She looooves to drop parenting advice to me about JOHN, even though I'm about 2 years ahead of her, and now that Briar is here, she does the same. When I told her I was in pain because I was over-producing (when Briar was about a week old), she told me I should pump. I said, "Yeah, just a bit to relieve the pressure? I've heard that." And she said, "No, pump it all out and just freeze it for later or dump it." I said, "But I'm over....producing. That will make my body think I need to keep making this much milk." She said, "No, it will be able to tell the difference."
*slaps face*
Ugh.
My sweet E (born 3/9/12) was and still is a great nurser, but continues to wake at night. My family (including my dad! ) kept pressuring me to feed her cereal at 2-3 months to make her sleep better. I refused! She is my baby, and I didn't want to. One person even said to me one morning when I was up multiple times the night before "I'm telling you, if you want to sleep more give her cereal." So I was visiting my family after E turned 4 months, I decided to give her cereal because I wanted to, and she didn't sleep better. I knew she wouldn't.
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