Friday, March 8, 2013

Me vs. the StinkBug Part Two

Say hello to my little friend...

(If you missed part one, click here)

Friday morning, finally.  Thursday nights are rough with the kids and B working late, but it was Friday and that meant the weekend and sleeping in until 5:30am - woohoo! (there really should be a scarstic font)  I had pressed snooze once and was running a bit late.  K decided to go back to waking up twice a night and I was more tired than usual.  Rushing, I was trying to make up for lost time.  That 9 minute snooze seemed like a great idea and was heavenly while tucked in and warm under my 17 blankets, but now I was regretting it.  Drying, brushing, brushing, flossing, hurrying through my morning routine.  I turned around to leave my bathroom when I saw him.

He was back.

He was in my bathroom.

And, he was looking at me.

Okay, breathe, breathe.  Get yourself together.  You're the only one awake.  You'll look ridiculous if you wake up B screaming about another stinkbug.  Calm down, calm down, calm down.

He was walking towards me.

Oh no, oh no, ohnoohnoohnoohnoohno!!!!

I grabbed the tall, hard plastic cup from the shower, the one I use to rinse the girls' hair in the tub and quickly and gently placed it over the vermin.  It's okay, I'll bleach it later.

Ok, ok, ok.  Back to business.  Just finish getting ready.  When you're all done, you'll slide a piece of paper underneath, go down stairs and take him outside.  The girls aren't up yet.  You just have to be quiet so you don't wake them up and freak them out.  YOU CAN DO THIS!

I finished getting dressed, but unfortunately, my shoes were down stairs.  This made me feel particularly vulnerable.  I didn't want to just shake him out the window or just outside the door because if I did that and he jumped back at me... well, that was a thought I couldn't entertain.  I would just slide my shoes on downstairs, take him out to the tree and let him go.

I timed the extraction with B heading downstairs so he could hold the stair gate and door open for me.  I ran outside, straight for the tree and removed the piece of paper holding the bug in the cup.

But, he wasn't on the paper.

I hesitated, but made myself look inside the cup (he won't jump, he won't jump, he won't jump...).

He wasn't there either.


Where is that stupid, disgusting, smelly, ugly, annoying, going to crawl all over my face in my sleep bug!!!!!!

Running upstairs, I searched the bathroom, the bedroom, the old hiding spot (under the dresser of course) but couldn't locate the nasty thing.

For the last 4 hours, I have been twitching, squirming, itching, and dying a little inside.  Is he on me?  Is he on my pillow?  I'm never going to sleep again.

Stink Bug - 2, Mommy - 0

Mark my words Stinky, this is NOT OVER!!!

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