ISTJ reform

If you've worked in the corporate world at all, you're probably familiar with Meyers-Briggs. Companies love to give these personality tests so their employees can understand how to work together better. I've taken it a few times now and the results are always the same - ISTJ.

Now, these traits are on a sliding scale but the two that were strongest for me were introvert and thinker. Well, I probably didn't need a fancy shmancy test to tell you that. In 6th, starting at a new school, I put my head down on my desk and cried because I was so nervous about meeting new people!

Shy as a kid, I've learned to push myself in new situations but it is exhausting. I still don't enjoy meeting new people. However, having been a stay at home mom for 6 months might have adjusted my scale from pegged to a more moderate introvert.  Having only one-sided conversations all day long, mostly consisting of "say Mama, ssssaaayyy Mmmaaammmaaa!", I've found myself making acquaintances with people at the grocery store.  I know the "regular" cashier by name (its Alexis), and we will have a 10 minute conversation each time I'm there.  On my "last-hurrah", I found myself blabbing to the saleswoman ringing up my purchase at Loft about how I'm ~6-months post-baby and have no idea what size clothing I wear.Who is this person?  I have even been chatting up the other owners at the dog park.

Apparently, I've been starved for conversation and adult interaction.  And, while I miss my snuggle bunny tremendously, being back at work now for over a week, I'm loving that I get to see and talk to people everyday.  Although, it's still hard for me to get over my shyness and make new friends.  So, I guess I'm not a reformed introvert afterall.  Perhaps, even introverts need their small circle of people they let in.

First Day

I may not be normal, but when I was a kid, I looked forward to the first day of school.  I know, total nerd.  I always had at least one new outfit that I couldn't wait to wear and planned it out weeks in advance.  I looked forward to meeting my teacher, and usually a new group of kids since we always seemed to move mid-summer.  I love the excitement and anticipation of the school year with all the promises of new experiences and lessons to be learned.

Turns out, as an adult, I'm still that same little girl.  I've had my outfit for today planned for weeks, as well as the girls.  Yep, we all coordinated, with pillowcase dresses for the girls make by moi.  I've been packing bags for K and making lists all week.  When the carbon monoxide detector started beeping at 11:00 pm last night, it didn't matter because I was wide awake.  The alarm was set for 6:00am, but I was up at 5:15am.

The morning didn't go as smoothly as I would have liked.  I didn't get the group picture of us girls that I was hoping for and we got out the door late.  I think I pulled an eye muscle trying not to cry as I left T and K at daycare (did you know you could even do that??!!).  But, I was determined not to let that dictate the rest of my day.

Hey, at least I'm smiling...

My day was filled with paperwork and running from one office to another.  The academic world is not quite as efficient as the corporate world!  I had blisters on my feet and tired legs by the time I left to go get the girls, but it felt great to be working again.  I've got a lot to learn, a lot of literature to catch up on, and so many people and places to see.  I'm a bit overwhelmed by the atmosphere and the reputation of this institution, but I'm determined to show that I belong here and I'm going to make it a better place by having been here!  And, if nothing else, I get to come home everyday to the best husband and two amazing little girls that I love and cherish!

I got to snuggle this little girl at the end of a very long first day!

Nesting

I have one week left until K starts daycare and I go back to work.  There's so much that needs to be done, and yet, I can't start doing any of it yet!  In desperation, I made coordinating dresses for the girls for K's first day at daycare, just so I could be doing something in preparation.  I know, I have a problem.  That's when I realized that nesting isn't just for pregnant women about to bust.  No, no.  Nesting can take over your life any time there is about to be a big change or transition phase.  Right now, me going back to work is going to be a huge transition for the entire family.  Hence, nesting.

For example, I went to Joann Fabrics the other day. I've been meaning to make more "mimis" or "lovies" for T since hers is starting to get a little love worn and I needed material.  Here's what I came home with:

Yeah, a lot more than I planned on getting originally.  Here's my new nesting project breakdown.

 Yellow minky and multicolored dot super soft fleece with satin blanket binding for T's new mimis.

 Enough PUL to make 5 wet/dirty diaper bags for K at daycare, one for each day.

 Tulle for T's Halloween costume (of course I forgot the ribbon!).

And, I just decided that I had to make T a traveling sleeping mat with sleepy owl jersey knit and hot pink fleece.

What's hilarious is that I just recently finished and cleared every project off my sewing desk and now I have a whole pile again!  Oh well, the good news is I have plenty of projects for more posts and at least I'll feel like I'm doing something to get ready for going back to work.

A Letter to K

Hi Peanut,

You're 4 months and two weeks old today. I found out today that I got the job I interviewed for and I'm so happy.  I'm also a little sad that our time together is almost over.  You need to know that I've loved every single minute with you, all the laughs, songs, stories, diapers, drool, spit-ups, tears, blow-outs, tubbies, etc.  But Mumma needs to work.  It's something that I need to do, that I've worked really hard for, and that I want to build on.  See, I want to be an example to you and your sister.  I want you to know that you don't have to choose or settle for something less than your dreams.  If you want it badly enough and are willing to work, you can have a career and be a great mom and wife, if that's what you want.  I tip my hat to women who aspire to be stay-at-home moms.  They are especially equipped, talented, creative, and patient.  I've loved being that with you for these last 20 weeks.  I love and adore you and I will forever treasure this time that we've had together.  You're growing up too fast and I'm already sad about the firsts that I'm going to miss.  Everyday after work, I'm going to run to pick you and your sister up and give you the biggest hugs and kisses.  After all, I put the mother in smother.  This transition will be hard for all of us, but we'll be better and stronger in the end.  I love you so much, K.

With all my love and more,

Mummy