Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Running Guilt

Running is one of those things you either love or hate.  For me, I crave it.  I need it.  I really WANT to run! When I see someone out for a run, I actually get sad inside because I miss it so.  Maybe its the solitude of running. Maybe its the sense of accomplishment with each new distance achieved.  Maybe its the fact that the only thing getting in the way of reaching my goals is me and I am in complete control of my success.

So what's the problem, you ask.  Just go for a run.  To explain why it's not as easy as that, here's how my morning went thus far:

7:15 Take T to daycare, go to grocery store.  K woke up when I put her in her carseat, but she's content.

8:30 Just got home.  Lots of yummy fruits and veggies so my family can eat healthy foods! K starts crying.  I'll bring in the groceries and eat breakfast after I feed her.

9:30 Finally finished feeding K.  She seems kind of sleepy.  Maybe I can run on the treadmill?  I'll put her down and do some sit ups to make sure she's asleep.

9:45 K is still asleep.  Put on sneakers, grab my nook and jump on the treadmill.  Just as I am about to hit start, I hear her crying.

10:30 Got K settled.  Think she'll sleep now.  Ok, so my new plan is a quick one mile run, then shower, eat, order prints from our newborn photo shoot and a bunch of other chores.  Hopefully she'll sleep.  Wait a few minutes to make sure she's asleep and then jump on the treadmill.

10:50 One mile run felt pretty good!  Wish I could have done more.  Turned off treadmill and hear K crying.  How long has she been crying?!  Poor thing is really upset and she still really needs to sleep, since she's been awake since 7:15!  Give her a bath to relax (really wish I could shower since I'm all sweaty!), feed her and put her back down.  REALLY hope she'll sleep this time.

12:00 Check in with B at work.  Realize groceries are STILL in the car!  Ugh.  Finish writing this entry, try to eat, shower, get chores done all before she wakes up again.

Yeah, so not as easy as it should be.  And I'm sure in a couple of days when I attempt to run again, the Mommy-Guilt will sneak its way into my brain. "What if she wakes up again while I'm running?  What if she's crying the WHOLE time?"  I know I need to make my health and fitness a priority though.  Any advice from other moms?  I feel like Mommy-Guilt got the better of me with T and I really don't want that to happen again.

Just finished my leg of a marathon relay.  Next goal is a half-marathon!

Where I'd love to be right now.

Haha! I like this!  Wonder mom, chained to the list of things she needs/wants to do and being chased by Mommy-Guilt!

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