Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Praise and Compliments

When I was young, it was very quickly evident that I was a perfectionist.

This is not a character trait that I would wish on anyone.

I was filled with frustration and lack of satisfaction.  Often, my attempts at something went unfinished because I couldn't get it "just right", which to me meant that only perfect was acceptable.  I gave up on a lot of things - painting, piano, etc. because if it meant I had to practice, it meant that I wasn't getting it right every single time.

I read an article about how to praise your children.  What I took most from this article is that we should be complimenting them in ways that encourage the process and not the results.  For example, "Wow, Miss T, I am so proud of how hard you have practiced playing that song and now it sounds great!", instead of "Look how talented you are!".  By praising her patience and perserverence and not the end result or an abstract idea of "talent", it encourages the process and hard work.

I think Jami of "Call Me Blessed" really got it right today about the characteristics that we boast about too.  There are specific characteristics that God looks for in us.  If we start there, how can we go wrong?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

Let it be my charge to encourage these traits in Miss T, and to praise her for the process, not the end result.

BTW - we're linked up at Embrace the Camera, a weekly posting hosted by Emily of The Anderson Crew.  Unfortunately, Emily is rather sick in her 11th week of pregnancy and her friend Amy is hosting for her at Buggie and JellyBean.  Go Check out the other ladies embracing the camera!


Hespyhesp said...

Cute pictures! Can totally relate to the perfectionist deal, even now when it comes to crafting!

Kelley said...

Cute pictures! Love the idea of praising the process not just the results.

ruthiehart said...

okay I just want to squeeze those rosy cheeks!

Rachel said...

super cute {embrace}

Jami said...

ok, those sunglasses, she is tooo cute. So glad we aren't in this journey alone!

Eva said...

Loving those sunglasses! And great reminders for us all :)

Heather said...

This is SUCH a good point. I'm just like you describe and I really like what you've said about how to encourage our children in ways that won't encourage that same attitude. I will try to apply it!