Hang on a sec...

So, the other day, I was sitting in a cafe and you'll never believe who walked in-

What T? You're hungry? Ok. Hang on.

Where was I? Right. So they sat down at the table right next to me and asked me-

Oh wait. K is up.

Ok, I'm back. So then we just started talking about-

Sigh. Yes T? You pooped? It was big? Great. Ok, let me clean you up.

Sorry. I'm bac- T! Get off the dog! He is not a pony!

Any wonder why I can't have have an adult conversation lately? Between wiping bums, nursing, putting the girls down for naps, and tubby time, I'm lucky if I can spell my name. But, I can sing 3 different versions of ABCs.

Can't complain though. I have two beautiful, healthy, well adjusted little girls. I'm a lucky mummy! I have the best life- CRASH!

Um, got to run...

Confidence

As I've gotten older, I've gotten more comfortable with who I am. I've accepted the things I can't change about myself. I've acknowledged where I just won't measure up with the abilities of others. I've also gotten more carefree thanks to my daughters. I'll never be asked to sing in a choir, but that doesn't stop me from singing to my girls, regardless of who can hear. I'm becoming more okay with my wispy hair, mostly because I see it as beautiful on T. And, well, I'm getting more okay with my nose because it is so adorable on K and T.

One area where I'm really glad to have this confidence is in being a mom. I will make mistakes, plenty. It may take me a while to realize that I need to correct something. No, I will never be a perfect, super mom. However, I know I can be a great mom to my kids. I know I will make good decisions for them. I know I can love and discipline them. I know that while my parenting style might not be right for everyone, it is right for us.  I don't know everything, not even close.  But I know I love my family and I trust my instincts.

It breaks my heart to hear other moms being hurt by judging eyes when all they need is confidence in themselves. Being a mom (or dad) is hard enough without trying to please everyone else. So, in the future, when we cross paths at play dates, church, or wherever and our styles don't mesh, know that I'm not judging you. If you're judging me, I ask you not to waste your time. I am confident in who I am as a mom.

Great Joys

Ah motherhood.  People tried to warn me about it.  "Yeah, yeah," I said, "Most challenging, but the most rewarding, blah, blah, blah."  I had no idea...

My girls are one of the greatest sources of joy in my life.  They are also the most challenging.  Its amazing that two little, fairly new people can master such a balancing act.  Regardless, I'm loving every minute of it.

The other day, T proved her prowess in manipulation.  That girl has inherited my ability to stall like no other.  Bed time is the worst.  After PJs, teeth, books, prayers, songs and nursery rhymes, I finally get her into bed and the following dialog ensues:

T: Mummy
Me: Yes?
T: (blank stare)

T: Mummy
Me: What?
T: (blank stare)

T: Mummy
Me: What?
T: (blank stare)

T: Mummy

Me: What? (with more exasperation than I intend)
T: Guess what!
Me: *sigh* what?
T: I love you!

Who can resist that??

K has already wormed her way in and broken down all resistance I have.  She's so stinkin' cute!  I think she realized that T set the bar high and she's up for the challenge. 

Yesterday while waiting for my doctor in an exam room, K was approaching naptime and getting a little unsettled.  I laid back on the exam table with her sitting on on my belly. Those adorable little toes were just too irresistible, so I gave her a raspberry, which was received by "Heh, heh, heh".  Is that what I think it is?  A giggle?  So I did it again. "Heh, heh, heh".  And again and again, until we were both cracking up laughing and giggling.  I don't think my doctor has ever walked into an exam room like that before!  K's first belly laugh and it was at my OBs office.  Whatevs, I'll take it, just wish it would have been an appropriate place to video tape it!  Haha!

So, I'll take the temper tantrums, the accidents, the late nights and middle of the night feedings.  I'll take the fussy teething times and the sibling jealousy.  I'll even take the teen years when all girls hate their mothers as long as I get to experience a few of these great joys sprinkled in between, because I really had no idea going in just how rewarding motherhood could be.


Want more updates?  Can't get enough of T and K?  Think I'm so fascinating, unique, and truly a warrior poet?  Follow me on twitter and never miss an update! @melissawhayes