Everyone has "that" person at work.
C'mon, you know who I'm talking about.
The person that no matter what you do, it isn't good enough.
The person that is always so quick to point out your faults and mistakes
(and yet can never admit their own).
The person that you have just accepted that you cannot get along with -
and you've grown comfortable with that strained relationship.
I came upon a blog today by the lovely Ashley.
She beautiful - isn't she?
Even better is that she's even more beautiful inside!
She dreams of changing the world and has started The Shine Project.
She's encouraging us all to step out of our comfort zones
and bring light,
love
and hope to the world.
It's a small sacrifice for us to make a huge difference in the world!
She's even come up with some amazing weekly challenges!
This week's challenge is
A compliment a day keeps low confidence away!
I love this idea! I'm in!
You know that person I mentioned earlier,
the one that I've grown comfortable not liking?
I don't like that about me, that I can be comfortable with that.
I decided that for day one of my compliment week, I would make it a good one.
Sure, I could tell L that I love her shoe collection.
I could tell K that I love her accent.
- but those are only surface things.
The small effort on my part would only share a little joy.
I figured I would make this first compliment a doozy.
I went up to that person that I "love to hate".
(eww, I don't like that word, but I have to be honest, right?)
I told him that I really liked his presentation today (true),
that he gave me a lot of things to think about (also true),
and that we should work together in the future (yep, this one is true too).
I don't think I breathed until after our conversation.
Just approaching him, my stomach was full of butterflies.
After though? I felt GREAT!
And, I could tell he appreciated my compliment.
I know this project is to bring hope and joy to others,
but this time, I was filled with hope!
While we may never be BFFs,
I hope we can grow into a relationship of mutual respect
and maybe it all started with just one step out in faith.
BTW, I'm pretty sure God has a sense of humor.
My boss approached me and told me that the three of us
(me, him, and the above)
need to meet next week to discuss a project together.
Thanks God. ;D
-Melissa
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Signs of Spring
Thus is one of my favorite times of the year.
I can't help but remember that the day I brought Miss T home from the hospital,
each one of these trees was a burst of color,
delicate pink flowers everywhere.
In about two weeks, T turns one years old!
Get out the tissues, I'm going to be weeping mess!
I've decided that in honor of the time year that we celebrate Miss T's birth,
I am going to bring her to Washington DC to see the Cherry Blossoms
and take part in the yearly Cherry Blossom Festival.
I hope this can turn into an annual family tradition.
I'd like to even purchase or make a Cherry Blossom outfit for her each year too.
This is the outfit I brought her home in -
(Gap, Cherry Blossom Infant collection 2010)She was swimming in it, the tiny thing she was!
I haven't been able to find anything to purchase this year, but I did find a few fabric options!
I especially like the second fabric because of the orange and pink flowers.
Orange in our family serves as a reminder of my brother-in-law who passed away nearly 8 years ago.
I love when I get to incorporate his memory into the things I create!
I'll keep you posted on what I make for her...
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Sick Momma
Ok, I've found a new way to top "Mommy Guilt" - The Sick Momma
I rarely get sick.
Of course I get the occasional cold, but as far as really sick? I'm lucky to say that only happens once every couple of years.
And by really sick, I mean
the need to sleep for 15 hours in a row - for three days in a row,
body feels like it was run over by a garbage truck,
head is about to explode,
the mere thought of a sip of water or ginger ale is as appetizing as drinking bleach.
The last time I was sick like this, my weight dropped to high school levels. I remember it clearly, January 2008. After it passed, I remembered being weak and pale for days.
Well, I've was struck victim again this year. From Sunday to Tuesday I was racked by - well all the above symptoms, but in addition was The Guilt.
See, this time, I have a baby girl to care for, love and be available for. Even in my disorientation I tried to be present. I swaddled myself up on the couch with her on a playmat in front of me. I'm not lying when I say I couldn't even muster up the energy to look at her, nevermind interact, play, smile at her. I think she could sense trouble brewing. That day she started making her concerned face.
Thank God for my husband. For all his germophobia, he remained healthy and took care of Miss T while I slept Sunday away. At one point around, oh, 5:30 pm, I remember him saying something to the effect of "I'm just going to leave you alone so you can rest". You know when I saw him next? 1:30am! Then it was back to bed until 8:00am.
In my pre-mommy days, the second day of a sickness is bearable. While you may not be able to work, you can manage to provide for yourself - barely. I was in a panic regarding how I was going to be able to manage for my self and my child! I actually begged my husband to stay home. The wonderful man that he is, he called in, again took care of both me and Miss T, and still managed to get some work done. He's amazing I tell you!
Day three, you can usually drag yourself to work or you can milk it and use it as a "recuperation day". I had our friend watch T while I slept.
All this time, The Guilt was building.
For three days now, I hadn't been able to kiss, hug, or somehow demonstrate my complete infatuation with my baby girl.
I hadn't been able to stimulate her intellect, nurture her curiosity, foster her courage.
Have I permanently stunted her growth and development?
Ahh, day four. I actually want to eat. Of course its just a bagel and I regret eating the whole thing afterwards, but just that I desired to eat was HUGE. And not just that, I can not only pretend to smile at Miss T, I am grinning ear to ear just to hold her, talk to her, play with her. While I should have stayed home all day again to rest, we went on a lunch date, me and T. We played all afternoon. I got to hug and kiss her goodnight.
We're slowly getting back to normal. The laundry piles are getting smaller and perhaps I'll actually make a real dinner tonight. Poor hubby. He was our big time hero this week. I love you baby! Hopefully its another three years until The Sickness strikes again!
I rarely get sick.
Of course I get the occasional cold, but as far as really sick? I'm lucky to say that only happens once every couple of years.
And by really sick, I mean
the need to sleep for 15 hours in a row - for three days in a row,
body feels like it was run over by a garbage truck,
head is about to explode,
the mere thought of a sip of water or ginger ale is as appetizing as drinking bleach.
The last time I was sick like this, my weight dropped to high school levels. I remember it clearly, January 2008. After it passed, I remembered being weak and pale for days.
Well, I've was struck victim again this year. From Sunday to Tuesday I was racked by - well all the above symptoms, but in addition was The Guilt.
Thank God for my husband. For all his germophobia, he remained healthy and took care of Miss T while I slept Sunday away. At one point around, oh, 5:30 pm, I remember him saying something to the effect of "I'm just going to leave you alone so you can rest". You know when I saw him next? 1:30am! Then it was back to bed until 8:00am.
In my pre-mommy days, the second day of a sickness is bearable. While you may not be able to work, you can manage to provide for yourself - barely. I was in a panic regarding how I was going to be able to manage for my self and my child! I actually begged my husband to stay home. The wonderful man that he is, he called in, again took care of both me and Miss T, and still managed to get some work done. He's amazing I tell you!
Day three, you can usually drag yourself to work or you can milk it and use it as a "recuperation day". I had our friend watch T while I slept.
All this time, The Guilt was building.
For three days now, I hadn't been able to kiss, hug, or somehow demonstrate my complete infatuation with my baby girl.
I hadn't been able to stimulate her intellect, nurture her curiosity, foster her courage.
Have I permanently stunted her growth and development?
Ahh, day four. I actually want to eat. Of course its just a bagel and I regret eating the whole thing afterwards, but just that I desired to eat was HUGE. And not just that, I can not only pretend to smile at Miss T, I am grinning ear to ear just to hold her, talk to her, play with her. While I should have stayed home all day again to rest, we went on a lunch date, me and T. We played all afternoon. I got to hug and kiss her goodnight.
We're slowly getting back to normal. The laundry piles are getting smaller and perhaps I'll actually make a real dinner tonight. Poor hubby. He was our big time hero this week. I love you baby! Hopefully its another three years until The Sickness strikes again!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
I've been featured!
The lovely blogger from 202 Designs features a new Estian artist every couple of days. She's an artist herself and her paintings are amazing!
I'm loving these new damask bird branch paintings she finished recently and I'm trying to figure out where I can put one up in my house! Check out her shop when you get a chance!
Well, guess what! She's featuring me today! Check it out here. This is sooo cooooool! It's kind of like high school when that guy you've been crushing on forever finally notices you!
I'm super excited to share the things I've been working on. Just last night, I finished Miss T's Easter dress, just like the one featured today. Now I can start some more color combinations and experiments! I'm also working on some new techniques for hair accessories. I'm so excite for spring to arrive, but did you know, it's just 98 days until summer? Woohoo!
I'm loving these new damask bird branch paintings she finished recently and I'm trying to figure out where I can put one up in my house! Check out her shop when you get a chance!
Well, guess what! She's featuring me today! Check it out here. This is sooo cooooool! It's kind of like high school when that guy you've been crushing on forever finally notices you!
I'm super excited to share the things I've been working on. Just last night, I finished Miss T's Easter dress, just like the one featured today. Now I can start some more color combinations and experiments! I'm also working on some new techniques for hair accessories. I'm so excite for spring to arrive, but did you know, it's just 98 days until summer? Woohoo!
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Dreaded Daycare Search
We have been so blessed that for the first year + of Miss T's life, we have had our amazing, awesome, super, wonderful, loving friend Colleen come to our house 4 time a week and watch over our precious little bundle.
We knew the time would come though, when we would have to give her up (Colleen, not T!) so that she could pursue her dreams and we'd be left trying to find day care that meets our standards. And my standards? My friends, they are set high, wicked high. To feel comfortable, I need a place that is clean (we've talked about our OCD issues before), safe (we live in a high crime city!), nurturing both emotionally and educationally, accomodating, in a desired location, and affordable. It seems these last two points are the major obstacles.
First off, we are limited by location. Most people conducting this search could look for daycare near their home or near their work. We are blessed/cursed to live two blocks from work and so we only have one area to look. Plus, for those who are city dwellers, the thought of traveling more than a mile or two is staggering. Between the traffic, the lack of parking, and the ridiculous amount of time it takes to go that one mile, the area that we are able to search shrinks dramatically.
Second, I'm not sure who could ever afford to pay this, but the few daycares that almost meet my standards cost the equivalent of four car payments per month! Seriously??!! There is one 4 blocks from my house (two blocks from work - perfect!), with great curriculum, great outdoor space, clean, healthy - but the cost is $1651 per month! That's more than I take home in a month on my student stipend! How is this justified?
Aside from all this, I think I've developed a strategic plan to research daycares online before going the route of in person investigations (those will be forthcoming).
In MD, we are fortunate to have the Maryland Child Care Resource Network. You have to register (it's free), but then you can search by type of care (family, center, or both), by age, and distance to a desired location. After looking for day care for over a month, I just learned today that no two searches are alike. Only 10 options are given per search and searches performed just minutes apart give very different results. The results list location, phone #, weekly fees, operation times, and total capacity. Good basics, but not enough to judge a center by any means.
From there I immediately enter the address into Google maps and check out the street view. I don't care what you say, when it comes to my child, I definitely can judge a book by its cover. If there is graffiti or garbage, if the street is a highway, if there are shady people walking by at that inopportune moment - then it's a no go. The beauty of using this tool is that the centers themselves don't have any control over when the Google vans drive by and thus, can't present their best foot forward. In these street images, you get to see them as they are on any given day.
(side bar: It seems weird to me that you can view daycares like this. Shouldn't they be protected from online weirdos? Granted, I can't ever see a child in these images, but still.)
(side-side bar: I'm clearly paranoid. Obviously every day care center in the world is a front for a sweatshop. They see a parent coming up the walk on their hidden cameras and the sewing machines are stowed away, the presses are hidden behind fake walls and the children are trained to smile and laugh when the doorbell rings to allow the parent inside. Obviously.)
While still on Google maps, I then check out the satellite images to see if there is adequate outdoor space, a must for city kids to get "fresh" air and sunshine.
This next step has proven a little fickle. Most day care centers don't have their own websites (seriously, get with the times people!). So, a little more google searching hopefully will provide some online reviews of each center. Like I said, it's hit or miss. In fact, the one center that had the most reviews online (all positive) is no longer in business! Go figure. In addition, I've found that there are an unlimited number of so-called daycare database resources. Each one required the daycare itself to register and as such each database has a different collection of centers. My advice is not to waste your time with these. Stick with the government sites that list all the licensed centers in your area.
At this point, I have to suck it up and call the center. I'm not a phone person. I don't like talking to people on the phone, especially people I don't know. I absolutely have a phone voice and I sound like I'm five years old. This one center I called, apparently I ask some weird questions because the poor director kept asking me who I was and why I was calling! I was asking her how many children they currently have enrolled. It seemed like an honest question for me to ascertain how active their center was. She must have thought I was planning a coup or something! Once we settled that I was a parent and overly protective and paranoid, she had no problem answering my odd questions. :) Anyways, I usually ask about availability, verify price, and address any concerns that I developed after seeing their street view.
So far, I've visited one center. I honestly had to hold back the tears throughout the visit. The center itself was beautiful, clean, and had well attended, happy children. It just wasn't home and it wasn't me. It was still a strange place with strange people. I'm going to have to get over this, I know. Someday, she is going to go to school, go to college, get married, etc. and leave me. Until that day comes though, I need to have as much control over her days as possible.
I do realize that this is a great opportunity for her! Being an only child, having few friends nearby, the poor child desperately needs social interaction! Just yesterday, we were visiting our friends across the street with H, a little girl 3 weeks older than Miss T. She is lightyears ahead of T as far as crawling and walking which I attritube to being a second child (we're such overachievers!). Just being in the same room as H for 30 minutes, T was standing and holding onto a bin of toys and testing out using only one hand at a time! Normally this girl is making both of my index fingers turn blue! It was a great step for her to develop initiative, courage, and independence and that only took 30 minutes!
I know we'll find the right place. I know I'll know it the moment we step inside. Next week, I plan to visit a couple of these centers and I'll let you know how it goes. I'd love to hear suggestions for questions to ask the center!
We knew the time would come though, when we would have to give her up (Colleen, not T!) so that she could pursue her dreams and we'd be left trying to find day care that meets our standards. And my standards? My friends, they are set high, wicked high. To feel comfortable, I need a place that is clean (we've talked about our OCD issues before), safe (we live in a high crime city!), nurturing both emotionally and educationally, accomodating, in a desired location, and affordable. It seems these last two points are the major obstacles.
First off, we are limited by location. Most people conducting this search could look for daycare near their home or near their work. We are blessed/cursed to live two blocks from work and so we only have one area to look. Plus, for those who are city dwellers, the thought of traveling more than a mile or two is staggering. Between the traffic, the lack of parking, and the ridiculous amount of time it takes to go that one mile, the area that we are able to search shrinks dramatically.
Second, I'm not sure who could ever afford to pay this, but the few daycares that almost meet my standards cost the equivalent of four car payments per month! Seriously??!! There is one 4 blocks from my house (two blocks from work - perfect!), with great curriculum, great outdoor space, clean, healthy - but the cost is $1651 per month! That's more than I take home in a month on my student stipend! How is this justified?
Aside from all this, I think I've developed a strategic plan to research daycares online before going the route of in person investigations (those will be forthcoming).
In MD, we are fortunate to have the Maryland Child Care Resource Network. You have to register (it's free), but then you can search by type of care (family, center, or both), by age, and distance to a desired location. After looking for day care for over a month, I just learned today that no two searches are alike. Only 10 options are given per search and searches performed just minutes apart give very different results. The results list location, phone #, weekly fees, operation times, and total capacity. Good basics, but not enough to judge a center by any means.
From there I immediately enter the address into Google maps and check out the street view. I don't care what you say, when it comes to my child, I definitely can judge a book by its cover. If there is graffiti or garbage, if the street is a highway, if there are shady people walking by at that inopportune moment - then it's a no go. The beauty of using this tool is that the centers themselves don't have any control over when the Google vans drive by and thus, can't present their best foot forward. In these street images, you get to see them as they are on any given day.
(side bar: It seems weird to me that you can view daycares like this. Shouldn't they be protected from online weirdos? Granted, I can't ever see a child in these images, but still.)
(side-side bar: I'm clearly paranoid. Obviously every day care center in the world is a front for a sweatshop. They see a parent coming up the walk on their hidden cameras and the sewing machines are stowed away, the presses are hidden behind fake walls and the children are trained to smile and laugh when the doorbell rings to allow the parent inside. Obviously.)
While still on Google maps, I then check out the satellite images to see if there is adequate outdoor space, a must for city kids to get "fresh" air and sunshine.
This next step has proven a little fickle. Most day care centers don't have their own websites (seriously, get with the times people!). So, a little more google searching hopefully will provide some online reviews of each center. Like I said, it's hit or miss. In fact, the one center that had the most reviews online (all positive) is no longer in business! Go figure. In addition, I've found that there are an unlimited number of so-called daycare database resources. Each one required the daycare itself to register and as such each database has a different collection of centers. My advice is not to waste your time with these. Stick with the government sites that list all the licensed centers in your area.
At this point, I have to suck it up and call the center. I'm not a phone person. I don't like talking to people on the phone, especially people I don't know. I absolutely have a phone voice and I sound like I'm five years old. This one center I called, apparently I ask some weird questions because the poor director kept asking me who I was and why I was calling! I was asking her how many children they currently have enrolled. It seemed like an honest question for me to ascertain how active their center was. She must have thought I was planning a coup or something! Once we settled that I was a parent and overly protective and paranoid, she had no problem answering my odd questions. :) Anyways, I usually ask about availability, verify price, and address any concerns that I developed after seeing their street view.
So far, I've visited one center. I honestly had to hold back the tears throughout the visit. The center itself was beautiful, clean, and had well attended, happy children. It just wasn't home and it wasn't me. It was still a strange place with strange people. I'm going to have to get over this, I know. Someday, she is going to go to school, go to college, get married, etc. and leave me. Until that day comes though, I need to have as much control over her days as possible.
I do realize that this is a great opportunity for her! Being an only child, having few friends nearby, the poor child desperately needs social interaction! Just yesterday, we were visiting our friends across the street with H, a little girl 3 weeks older than Miss T. She is lightyears ahead of T as far as crawling and walking which I attritube to being a second child (we're such overachievers!). Just being in the same room as H for 30 minutes, T was standing and holding onto a bin of toys and testing out using only one hand at a time! Normally this girl is making both of my index fingers turn blue! It was a great step for her to develop initiative, courage, and independence and that only took 30 minutes!
I know we'll find the right place. I know I'll know it the moment we step inside. Next week, I plan to visit a couple of these centers and I'll let you know how it goes. I'd love to hear suggestions for questions to ask the center!
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