This week's focus has been on finding daycare for my baby. Not an easy task made more difficult by living in a city like mine. I spent the day on Tuesday calling nearly 20 places only to find two that had openings!
I visited those places yesterday and the results were less than appealing.
Let's just start by saying that yesterday was a bad day all around. I had to bring our little Joey in for dental surgery at 8:00 am. I cried when they counselled me about the risks of anesthesia. I am completely aware of all these risks already, so I'm not sure why I started crying. (He did fine, one tooth pulled and a deep scaling. Poor baby!) Next I get to work only to spend the day trying to order the one test that I need to complete my manuscript for a journal article. My boss has been MIA for three weeks now, the ordering account is expired and I'm stuck. Grrr.
Anyways, the first place was overwhelmingly loud, not secure, and there were people outside at a bus stop drinking from a paper bag and swearing all over the place. Not sure why I did, but I scolded the man dropping F-bombs like it was his job. I mean seriously, have some tact in front of little ears!
The second place was in a home daycare in a dark, semi-finished basement and the kids were all watching a movie. I mean, television was built into their schedule! On occasion I let Miss T watch TV (I can count it on my two hands), but to have it as part of her daily routine?
I felt bad about having such negative feelings for both. At both places, the women were super nice. I would have no problem with them coming to my house to watch Miss T. But the thought of me leaving her in either place had me sobbing in my car.
Well, we picked up Joey and went home. It was late and I still had to bring Druha to the park and it was about to start raining. I checked the radar and figured we had about 20-30 minutes. Just enough time for a quick run around the park and walk home. Nope. As my day would have it, we got caught in a RIDICULOUS down pour. I couldn't even see with all the water pouring down and getting into my eyes. Miss T was screaming, soaked and shivering. We tried to run for it, but since I was so blinded, we instead hid out under the deck of one of my neighbors. After a few minutes, it let up enough that we could finish our run home. No bath needed that night! Poor thing, Miss T was so cold, I raced her upstairs, dried her off and put her in long sleeved and long pant PJs. After all that, I burned her dinner. Cannot get a break.
My wonderful, patient husband brought home dinner for us. He let me cry and sulk and just be mad about the day.
In my broken down state, I finally reached out in desperation. This is a turning point for me. I have always been of the mind set that if it can be done, I can do it myself without any help. I have such a hard time asking for anything! At this point, I was desperate and I sent a group email to the ladies of my church that work in the nurseries with me. The response was amazing. I literally sent the email right before bed and I had at least three responses before I even got under the covers! These women are amazing! They are praying for us to find a solution and offering recommendations and solutions themselves! I am in a completely different mind set today than I was yesterday because of all of their encouragement! I am taking this as a lesson to me that I need to be able to reach out more when I need help, and to be able to recognize when I can't do it myself.
I'm sure my husband will smile when he reads this as this is a lesson that I've needed to learn for a long, long, time.